The Christmas Story . . . Illustrated

My youngest sister Laurie just sent us a new Nativity story book. While the story is straight from the Bible, the illustrations are a little more irregular. They are great, but they very much deviate from the traditional pictures to which we are accustomed. You know, the ones with the soft glows and halos and somber looks upon the individuals' faces. The artwork on these pages consists more of simple and almost clumsy-looking characters, a Mary whose pregnant belly is very pronounced and exaggerated, and angels with hiking boots who sit and hang out with the holy family. My personal favorite depicts Joseph having to work exceptionally hard to heave this woman, very great with child, up onto the donkey's back. Oh yes, and there is a picture of baby Jesus, and, well, like most other babies, he wasn't born with a diaper on. So here were the comments I heard from my children upon their first flip through the book--

#1
Caleb: "I see His secret place! You know, the place you're supposed to keep to yourself."
Callie: "What?! Who drew those pictures? Was it a boy or a girl?"
Mommy: "It was a girl."
Callie: "Whew. Then at least she wasn't giving away something that belonged to her!"

#2
Caleb: "Whoa! Look at that big tummy! That's fat!"
Callie: "Caleb, you just wait. One day you're going to have a WIFE that looks like that!"

#3
Callie: "Mommy, what's a virgin?"
Mommy:
[The sound of crickets chirping in the distance]